Conspiracy Theories: Exposing The Truth Behind The Lies Behind The Lies

I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time recently learning about the great American conspiracy theories of the past few decades.  The best ones are widely publicized:  Obviously, the Illuminati killed JFK.  Sure, you know that 9/11 was an inside job.  But did you know that FEMA is setting up internment camps to house innocent citizens once the government declares martial law?  What about those weird trails in the sky that planes leave behind?  Did you know that those trails are actually chemicals that are being sprayed in the atmosphere to control the weather/your mind?

Get ready to have your eyes opened, sheep!  I’m going to school you on all of my personal favorite conspiracy theories:

1.  Chemtrail Conspiracy:  Maybe you’ve looked up into the sky and wondered why planes leave lines of clouds behind them.  Maybe you’ve even taken the time to read the Wikipedia article on contrails, and learned that those lines of clouds are caused by condensation.  But you didn’t look into the whole truth. The savviest of the savvy conspiracy theorists have exposed the truth behind those lines of clouds:  mind control drugs.  That’s right.  The US government is spraying chemicals at high altitudes to either a. control the weather, b. infect people with diseases, or c. weaken the willpower of the people.  My guess is that the government is guilty of all of the above.  Notice how there are no contrails in other countries?

DHS Satellite images of Wyoming Death Camp!

2.  FEMA Internment Camps:  The federal government is planning to enact martial law, and is building lil’ Auschwitzes all over the US.  According to this video on YouTube, facilities are being built to house (and murder) US citizens–they’ve even got gas chambers!  They’ve also got satellite photography of a North Korean Wyoming death camp that is currently in use.  I bet you had no idea how oppressed you are.

3.  The Barackalypse:  He was elected for a second term, and now he’s coming after your guns.  Although I’ve yet to see anyone say exactly what President Obama’s end goal is for suppressing the human race, I do know that he’s doing it.  Soon we’ll have to undergo a government background check just to buy laundry detergent.  Millions of people are preparing themselves for the upcoming Barackalypse, and you should too.  Make sure you protect your children as well–buy them a tactical vest so they, too can survive the Barackalypse.  Remember the Cold War and Y2K?  This is gonna be like those, except it will actually happen.  For real.

Consider yourself reborn.  You are no longer a sheeple.  I’ve enlightened you to what is actually going on in this country, not just what the LAME-stream media wants you see.  You must be asking:  “What can I do about it?”  Don your tin foil hat and join me.  Just donate $29.99 to my PayPal account, and I’ll reveal to you the key to survival in these  trying times!